Sunday, February 19, 2012

Bridesmaid Feet Transplant

It's now 83 days until the wedding and the most recent listed activity I ticked the shit out of, was finding shoes for the bridesmaids. This was so difficult and one of the most challenging tasks I've ever completed. This might seem simple to you. Shoe shopping easy!! Well it's not easy. Firstly, it was difficult to get a gaggle of girls all together at the same time. Secondly you should see what I had to work with!!

As a comparison, here is a quick shot of my feet. Sorry about them being in such bad shape. I wasn't expecting for them to be photographed.

This is what I had to work with.....

Head Bridesmaid
This is after a pedicure!!!!                                                                                                     

Bridesmaid Two

Not enough NADs in a jar for this one                                                                                    

Bridesmaid Three

She offered to do my manicure for my big day. I impolitely declined and told her to fuck off.

I had always wondered why I never saw my bridesmaids wearing thongs or sandals. I just assumed they preferred boots  all year round. How was I able to find shoes to go on these feet??

 IF my bridesmaids had feet like mine, It'd be easy to find shoes for them. Here's another shot of my foot, sorry about their poor condition, I'd just been outside gardening and got a flower caught between my toes.

Anyhow, I  put on my big arsed bridezilla attitude and ordered them to wax, clip and undertake major feet transplant surgery. Thank you to all the models who kindly donated their feet for this good cause. Sorry you had to wake up the next morning with a bad hangover and discover your shoe modelling career is over. With your new feet, can I suggest a new career in horror films?

 Here is our success! Here the shoes we have chosen.

Success - Nude Glitter

 They look beautiful and are just so twinkly!!  I am so glad this task has been ticked of the Wedding Shit List! 



  1. Glad you found something suitable !

  2. Those shoes are GREAT and those feet are gross. Ick.

  3. Gorgeous shoes!!

    Ick@the feet...the long toe nailed one matches my mother in laws feet though. I cringe everytime i see them haha

  4. I don't know how I stumbled across your blog, but when I saw that the latest post was about wedding crap, I said to myself: let's read it all the way through, and then I we'll tell her off nice and good.
    However, after having read it, you are too funny. I can't do it. Love your post, love your blog.

  5. Ha ha I didn't bother with bridesmaids shoes. The dresses are long- who looks at their feet anyway right? Although now I am a little bit mesmorised by the sparkly bits and may have to order them into matching glitter pumps...

  6. LOL i nearly threw up a little bit in my mouth then!! Love the choice, sparkles are always a good idea! x

  7. Holy shit Lady, when I scrolled down to that first pic I totally laughed out loud, which is no easy feat for me when reading things. I might smile, maybe even snicker a bit, but to make me laugh out loud, now that takes sheer talent. Luckily I wasn't drinking anything, I may have ended up with a soggy laptop.

  8. Too funny, sad thing is I have seen feet worse in my past Nursing life! Those shoes are supa sweet and twinkly :)

  9. Eeww! (but shoes are truly gorgeous)