Monday, February 6, 2012

I'm Hangry!!!

Yesterday I felt fat and was in a filthy mood.  For the last four weeks, I've been eating healthy shit and have not really lost weight.

I was angry because I haven't had chocolate for four weeks!!

I was angry because I was premenstrual and I was on a diet AND couldn't have chocolate!!

I was angry because I just wanted to eat the fuck out of a Tim Tam and I was premenstrual and I was on a diet AND I couldn't have chocolate!!

I was angry because Lord Daa Doo responded to my whinging with "have a drink of water, that will fill you up".

NO!!! I do NOT want a drink of water! I want a family block of Caramello and it's your fault I can't have one!!  Waaaaaaah!!


I was hungry and angry.  I was hangry!!


Now being hangry is far worse than being just angry or hungry. Many ladies experience a feeling of hangriness at some stage in their life. Many ladies will continue to experience hangriness without realising it. Hangriness is more common with ladies in the midst of a weight loss program. Hangriness can be experienced at any time of the day, at any location. It doesn't discriminate against age or race, or economic status.


Here are some celebrities that suffer from acute hangriness.



Lindsay has survived on cigarettes, vodka and lettuce. No wonder she's hangry

No amount of macro food can satisfy this queen of hangry
Posh spots a McDonald's

Kate makes hangry look cool
Naomi reacts when her personal assistant offers a cheeseburger





 How to tell if you are a hangry sufferer.

1. You google pictures of chocolate and find yourself licking the screen whilst screaming and sobbing all at the same time.

2. You want to punch the person next to you who orders a multi grain salad sandwich with no butter. Why don't you just order dry bread!! Fuck it! Why don't you just order air or dust!!

3. You wake up in the middle of the night to find you've been sleepeating. You wake up and discover yourself next door, in front of the neighbours fridge, eating their child's birthday cake with no hands (and completely naked). Acute hangriness is apparent if you shrug your shoulders and say "I don't give a fuck" and proceed to consume all the lolly bags for the next days party.

4. When feeding the dog, you think the dog food smells good. You curl your lip and growl at the dog when he goes near the dog bowl.


5. You sniff the air and say "Mmmmm that smells soooo delicious. What are you cooking?" The person next to you says "Nothing. I farted."



These are only some of the signs of hangriness, This ailment can manifest itself in many forms. There is a cure, but it's as sure as hell not fucking lettuce leaves!!






17 comments:

  1. Haha I've never heard of hangry before but it is a GREAT descriptor. I've definitely had that ARGHHH I'M HUNGRY moment before

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    1. It is a great descriptor. I love combined words. Such as Bennifer or Brangelina! Combined words are the best. I might try to write a blog where I combine every second word.

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  2. Topamax. Fixes the hunger. Like totally.

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    1. That's what I need to do! Stop that hunger!!

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  3. BAHAHAHAHAH!! That is hilarious! Also...the I farted thing. OMG LOL and ewww at the same time!! haha

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  4. Replies
    1. I don't think we are alone!! I know there are many of us ;-))

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  5. As always - another post to make me smile and laugh inside (because I am at work and can't laugh out loud !!!)

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    1. Glad I gave you a laugh, even if you had to do it on the inside :-)

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  6. I was Hangry last night waiting for the Englishman to come home and cook dinner!!
    I had two squares of old Jamaica and a glass of wine- fixed the Hangriness right up!!
    Ahhhh antioxidants :-)

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  7. I too am trying to lose weight and am in a constant state of hangriness, so I'm with you, sister! Food sucks. Why can't we just survive on wine and tim tams? WHY!?!

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    1. hahahaha, I survived on just wine, tim tams and mint slice. Thats how I got into this mess in the first place.

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  8. LOL god I'm with you on this one - that's so funny about the "have a glass of water it'll fill you up" thing - I would have thrown the glass of water over him! I'm on a diet too - it's so depressing!! xx

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    1. It is so depressing!! I should've thrown the water! That would have shut him up!

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  9. Love this post! I get hangry often. :)

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