Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Milford Sound - Part Two

On our second day in Milford Sound, we awoke in our cardboard room after having the best sleep ever. The bed was just so comfortable. The previous day was perfect and we decided to take a cruise to see more of Milford Sound. Lord Daa Doo leisurely dawdled up to reception to book a nature cruise, while I lazily got my shit together and thought about getting dressed. He came back and advised our cruise was at 9:45am.

"What time is it now?" I asked yawning, while clothed in sexy long johns and bad greasy 80's hair created the previous day from wearing a beanie and enhanced by a full night's drunken sleep.

"9:10" he replied without any alarm.
"FUCK!! We only have a few minutes to get dressed and walk around to the boat terminal"

I hate being rushed and I hate being late. I especially hate having to walk somewhere when I am rushing. Lord Daa Doo doesn't understand. He is very tall and has long legs. I am a short statured Lady (slightly hobbit like) and it takes my legs a lot of work to keep up to Lord Daa Doo. He takes one step and I have to take three. I get very annoyed and whinge a lot. It seems the faster my legs have to go, the more I whinge. I think the two are linked by a chord.

 I was pretty fucking annoyed at this point, and I started whinging loudly about breakfast and sea sickness while struggling to pull on about seven layers of clothes. I get very sea sick and I didn't have enough time to prep the body with some good old hearty Vegemite toast.

At 9:30 we started to stomp down the icy road towards the boat terminal. According to my calculations it would take 20 minutes of fast paced walking to get to the terminal. We only had 15 minutes!!  We would never make it!! I started to whinge about this to Lord Daa Doo while shoving toast in my face and running in an attempt to keep up with him. It started to rain. I felt like giving up. He said to be quiet and walk faster. This only made me turn the whinge volume up higher.

I had almost whinged myself into tears, when we heard a car behind us. We moved to the edge of the road so the car could pass. It didn't pass. It stopped. The window rolled down and we heard a voice from deep within the car "You go boat terminal?"

Before Lord Daa Doo even had the chance to answer, I flung the door open, jumped into the car and already had the seatbelt done up. I looked at the driver and his wife who had both turned around. They were looking at me like I was a crazy carjacking greasy puffer jacket hobbit.

"Thank you" I wheezed.

As we headed down the road towards the boat terminal. I realised the identity of this couple. THEY WERE THE ONES WHO STOLE OUR RIVERSIDE CHALET!! The buggers!!

"Where you from?" the driver said, trying to make conversation with us. Lord Daa Doo answered with "New South Wales".

While travelling through NZ, for some strange reason, anytime anyone asked where we were from, Lord Daa Doo always answered with "New South Wales". I found it weird and very annoying, because not everyone knew where or what the fuck NSW is!! It was annoying because I had to back him up and answer their quizzical expressions or questions with "Australia" or "Near Sydney". It was just so annoying, and Lord Daa Doo kept doing it! Even when I told him to friggen stop it!

.....anyway back to the car.......

"New South Wales" Lord Daa Doo answered. The driver looked in his rear view mirror at us with a strange look on his face.
"Australia, Near Sydney" I answered as friggen usual.
 "aaahhh ok" the Chalet Thief answered.

Lord Daa Doo and Chalet Thief attempted to make awkward small talk. I sat in the back, scowled out the window and wondered if Mr and Mrs Chalet Thief were enjoying their beautiful riverside chalet. I hoped they were having a bad time and were fighting every day. I hoped their hot water wasn't working, or their complimentary tea and coffee was out of date. I hoped their bed was lumpy and the pillows were hurting their necks. I felt bad. How could I think nasty thoughts about them? How could I hate them when they rescued me? It wasn't their fault; they were just as innocent as we were. BUT THEY WERE IN A RIVERSIDE CHALET WHILE WE WERE CRAMPED IN A CARDBOARD BOX!!

As we pulled up to the boat terminal, I decided to forgive.

"Thankyou" I smiled warmly. I got out and closed the door - just a little too hard. There!! That'd teach them to never steal chalets again!!

Lord Daa Doo and I arrived just in the nick of time. We hopped on our cruise and enjoyed hours of the most spectacular scenery ever!! The mist and the rain created the most sensational atmosphere. We stayed out on the boat deck for the duration of the cruise. It was so cold my eyes and face were as puffy as my puffer jacket, but I didn't want to miss a thing. I felt so alive! It was one of the best days ever!!

Milford Sound is one of the most beautiful places on earth.

1 comment:

  1. I am sure the water is freezing, but it is just begging for someone to jump in and take a swim.