Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Mummy Dating

Last week I built up the courage to ask another mum out on a date. It was awkward and uncomfortable.

We met by chance at our local shopping centre. She was buying a takeaway coffee, I was at the same shop buying a pie so I could jam it down my face in the car.

She had a pram, I had a pram.

We looked at each other, smiled. We looked at each other's baby and smiled. She spoke first and we discovered our kids were around the same age - 6 months.

I mentioned I had just come back from Gymbaroo*. She told me she goes to Gymbaroo too but on a different day. We nodded and smiled at each other.

My pie was ready, I paid. We said goodbye.

The next week at Gymbaroo, I walked into class and there she was! I walked over and placed my son down on the gym mat next to her daughter.

I said hello. She said hello. We smiled. We looked at each other's baby and smiled.

After class as we were getting ready to leave, I started to work up courage. I hadn't asked someone out on a date since high school and even then it was usually a gaggle of girlfriends who went and asked the boy out on my behalf. Should I? Should I? What should I say? What will she say? I felt myself go red.

"So....." I drawled, " do you go to the shopping centre often?"
"Yes" she replied.

I looked down at my son, and felt my face burning. We continued getting our children ready in silence.

Then it happened and I blurted very fast. "We should go out for coffee sometime".

"Yes" she replied.

"I will give you my number". I searched around for a pen. Damn! Why don't I carry a pen in my nappy bag? She didn't have a pen either and her daughter started to cry.

I froze, I didn't know what to do. The fact I had no pen, got me all confused.

"Oh well", I said, "maybe we will see each other around"

"I'm going for coffee now if you'd like to join me" she said.

"OK!!!" I said eagerly and together we left.

During coffee, I managed to calm down and we discovered we had things in common. We live close, only a 10 min walk, and we are the same age. We exchanged mobile phone numbers. I promised to text to organise another date.

Over the course of the weekend, I wondered how soon is appropriate to send a text. I didn't want to seem to keen, but I didn't want to leave her hanging....

I waited 3 days and I sent a text asking for another date. She said yes and even used a smiley face.

Our next date is this Thursday, and I think it's the start of a beautiful friendship.


*Gymbaroos are parent/child educational learning centres specialising in the natural physiological development of babies



    (If you'll forgive the shameless blog-promotion, you can read the opposite story here: http://emhawker.blogspot.com.au/2013/02/watching-your-child-learn-things-on.html )

    Why is it so hard to start that conversation and to admit that YES, I like you (or the part of you I've discovered through this conversation), so I'd like to catch up again!?

    1. Oh you've been in a similar situation too! It was so uncomfortable. Your post is so true! Why is it so hard? Kids do it so easily. Maybe they are less afraid of rejection and are willing to take more risks.

  2. This could be the beginning of an amazing RomCom x

    1. There were so many times when my boys were babies that I'd get talking to another mum at the shops or playgroup and almost, nearly ask them on a "mummy date". The difference is that I never did - I always froze at the final moment. Well done for being brave and putting yourself out there - I wish I'd had your courage x

  3. As a first time mum you were braver than I - I just hung back and hoped like hell I would bump into a mum I knew, now I'm so over the top and friendly I have no qualms about asking for details! xx