Friday, December 5, 2014

Something Undie-scovered

As a result of some high pitched nagging, Lord Daa Doo has grudgingly been doing some maintenance in our back courtyard. He decided to clean under the deck.
He discovered a long lost burial ground.  

He found old rotten leaves from a tree that was removed 3 years ago. He found a stash of long lost dog toys, their squeaks forever silent. He found clothes pegs, that will never clamp clothes in the sunshine again.  

 The most unique find was about to be discovered.....
I was on the lounge, busily and importantly refreshing facebook for the hundredth time when Lord Daa Doo called and asked me to come outside. "Whaaaat is it??" I yelled back, annoyed that I was being disturbed doing important work and would more than likely have to lever myself off the lounge.
I went outside, and squinting in the sunlight,  saw Lord Daa Doo holding a pair of rotten undies on the end of a stick.
"Eugh!! What have you been doing getting your undies off outside?" I accused.
"They're not mine" he replied
"Well they're not frigging mine" I screeched.
We stared silently at the undies for a while. Looked at each other, then looked back at the undies. Looked at each other. Then it clicked.
Our neighbours!! The Serial Hot-Tubbers!!  In a moment of marinating, they must have discarded their underwear, and somehow those filthy undies ended up under our deck!!
It wouldn't be the first time we discovered discarded clothing. I recall a previous Sunday morning after our neighbours had enjoyed a big night of hot tubbing with their friends. I was traumatized when I looked out the kitchen door to find a pair of bathers flung over our fence, crotch side up!!!
As you can see I was so horrified that I had to capture the moment! The photographic evidence clearly shows that these swimmers were dirty, discarded and flung in a moment of hot tub action! 

Now I'm not sure if these were intended to be some sort of lure to entice Lord Daa Doo and I to join them for a night of hottubbing......
 What's the most horrific thing your neighbours have flung over the fence


  1. I don't know whether my mother counts as my neighbour but considering I live in a rural property and am not 18 yet, this statement will have to suffice. I am sorry that I have to share this horror story filled with gore and terror but I feel its my duty to all teens who live with a mother such as this. It began on one fine Saturday morning, birds were chirping and singing gaily. My father and I decided it is a good time to go grocery shopping. Whilst we were exiting the gate we peered into the window of our house to send a cheerful farewell to my mother. Little did we know of what horrors would face us that moment. Having knowledge of our departure, my mother subsequently pulled down her pajama bottoms, pressed her arse against the window and mooned us. The sight of this has scarred me and landed me in numerous facilities. Please spread awareness so others do not suffer like I have. #ArsesAnonymous

    1. You poor thing! I cannot even begin to imagine what you have been through. I hope you get the help you deserve.

  2. For us it was the old chestnut, used condom, following a particularly raucous party. Concerning, myah. Scary, yesh. Particularly when your young daughter finds it and demands to know: a) what is it? And b) why did you throw the perfectly good kitchen tonges in the bin along with the strange object?

    1. hahaha! Yes I would've thrown the kitchen tongs too!

  3. Now that is hilarious, I bet the conversations were crazy!!!! Growing up as kids we used to drop all sorts of stuff under our deck never to be seen again - sadly we sold it so never got to reminisce! Nice to have you in my inbox this morning :)

    1. HI Em! I bet the new owners found a treasure trove!