- Something on your mind?
- Got a problem you need to solve?
- Are you sick and tired of hearing boring opinions and solutions?
Share your problems with Lady Daa Doo and get true Lady Advice.... FOR FREE!!*
Type the details of your problem in the comments field below*. Lady Daa Doo will reply with an answer.
A true lady knows size doesn't matter, no problem is too big or too small. It doesn't matter how big the problem is, it's what you do with it that counts.
Let Lady Daa Doo solve your problems!!*
*Could cost self respect and self esteem.
*Lady Daa Doo is not responsible for any loss, damage or relationship breakups that result from advice. Any solution provided must be implemented at personal risk, some solutions may not be suitable for human consumption.
*Quite often your problems will be used for the purposes of comedy and to entertain others. Generally pointing and laughing will be involved.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI have spilt a glass of red wine on my carpet in an obvious position. I tried to clean it up myself, but I have only made it worse. My husband is away working and the big problem is he doesn't know I drink. Should I replace the carpets? What should I do?
Hello Vanessa, thank you for sharing your problem. I have a couple of suggestions for you.
DeleteNow you didn't indicate whether you have children or pets because my first suggestion would be to blame them. Children's blackcurrant juice thrown around the room can come in handy to disguise any red wine stains. Cat or dog vomit can also be used to disguise stains.
My next suggestion would be to strategically place a piece of furniture over the stain. If your husband asks why a lamp table is sitting in the middle of the room, tell him it’s the latest in interior design.
If those ideas don't work, you might need to resort to the following. Tell your husband it relates to an accident caused by 'woman problems' and leave it at that. He should quickly shut up.
The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to stop drinking red wine and start drinking white wine or vodka instead.
Dear Daa Doo,
ReplyDeleteMy problem is that these bitches from high school refused to acknowledge me at a Cindy Lauper concert. They are so up themselves now they live in The Castle.
How do I get back at these bitches?
Mrs Catty Burner
Hello Mrs Burner,
DeleteFirst of all, my suggestion would be for you to take a good long hard look at yourself. If they refused to acknowledge you at a concert than it must be because you are the bitch.
There would be a good reason why you were ignored because people don't ignore people for no reason.
If you feel they are 'up themselves' than I am sure it's only because they are better than you, and you resent how you have turned out.
Perhaps a trip to the hairdressers and a good feed might help you.
Dearest Daa Doo,
ReplyDeleteI have a really embarrassing problem.
I am told that I have 'dangly things swinging from the back of my legs' !! I have checked myself out in the mirror but am unable to see them. It appears they are only visible from the back when I walk.
Do you have any suggestions???, as summer is coming and I want to be able to go out in public.
Hello Dienima,
DeleteThat is a rather embarrassing problem you have. I'd say it's more embarrassing for us as we have to look at them. If the dangly bits are only visible from behind when you walk, I suggest you should start to wear underwear and cover those ghastly things up.
Lady Daa Doo,
ReplyDeleteFirstly I just want to say your fine print above is very similar to the fine print on my house insurance policy, go figure! And secondly please help! My husband was recently complaining about his eyesight getting bad and I had a great time teasing him about getting old and being blind etc, and now I have noticed myself holding things 10 feet from my face to see them!! How can I hide my deteriorating eyesight problem from him so he feels old and doesn't realise I also am too???
Dear Anon,
DeleteThank you for sharing your problem, this is serious as ladies should never be in a position where they are at risk of being ridiculed by their husbands. You need to maintain the control and he must never know of your failing eyesight.
Here's what you should do to regain the upper hand:
When reading, you should remove your clothing, your husband will be so distracted by your nakedness, he will not notice you holding things 10 feet from your face.
Be warned. This comes with great risk and possible annoying unwanted advances from the husband. As a precaution, you might need a big stick to fend him off.
Hello Lady Daa Doo, I am attending my brother's wedding soon, at my last two birthday parties he has gotten vomitoriously drunk. How best shall I get revenge?
ReplyDeleteKind Regards
Anonny Moose.
Dear Anonny Moose,
DeleteYou poor lady! What sort of brother would do that!!
I think revenge is appropriate and necessary to teach him a lesson!! At his wedding I think you should add a laxative to his food. What the hell, add a whole packet!! You will need to time it perfectly so that the explosion occurs during the bridal waltz.
That way both the bride and groom will be slipping around the floor. It will be very entertaining and will be a good revenge.
Dear Lady Daa Doo
ReplyDeleteI have developed an issue with chaffing combat
armor. No matter what I try i can't seem to stop dirt from getting in the legs. Due to my class I cant wear cloth...what should I do?
Yours truly
Lera
Hello Lera,
DeleteSorry to hear you have a chaffing problem. This can be very uncomfortable and can create disadvantages when you are in combat.
I would suggest you invest in some Vaseline and apply it liberally to the chaffed areas, I know you said you couldn't wear cloth, but you could try to wear some grey items and see if that works.
If that doesn't work, you should delete and create another class.
Dear Lady Daa Doo,
ReplyDeleteHow does one motivate oneself to start getting into tip top shape so that they can wear lady jeans- sans camel toe- once more?