Friday, April 15, 2016

Savage Frizz

If I had to choose my 7th most favourite possession, it would definitely be my hair straightener!! I'm so vain when it comes to my hair. It's the first thing I pack when I travel. I went to Fiji once and imagined myself in a white bikini with beautiful bohemian wavey beach hair. So I took the chance and didn't pack my straightener!! Holy fuck!!! I was savaged and attacked by the humidity and ended up looking like this!!

Frizzy hair and sunburned face! Classy!

I learned my lesson and that straightener goes everywhere with me!! In fact I'm typing with it now! I've considered amputating my hand and replacing it with a straightener prosthetic! Sort of like Captain Hook, but with a straightener instead!

Now, If I was stuck on a deserted island and had to choose one item to take with me, it would still be my straightener!! You can scoff and say there's no electricity. where will you plug that in!!?? I agree there is nowhere for me to plug it in, and yes I will have incredibly frizzy hair, but, imagine all the stuff I can do with a straightener!

I could use it to hunt meat, sort of like a lasso or even like a club
I could use it to catch fish. I would dangle it in the water and mentally control the fish to bite
I could club other survivors over the head and eat them
I could use it as tongs to turn the meat over while I cook it on the fire

I bet if I left the straightener lying in the sun for long enough it would still get hot enough to iron out some of the frizz so I can still look fabulous!

What is the ultimate 7th possession you can't live without?

Thursday, March 3, 2016


Today I read my blog.

It was like reconnecting with an old friend. My blog reminded me about the good old days, it made me laugh, it made me feel good.

I'm going to spend more time with this friend.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Port Macquarie - Tacking Point Lighthouse

I love to catch a sunrise, the alarm going off at 5am can make it rather painful but it's all worth it.

We spent a week in Port Macquarie and I was keen to test out my new camera. I headed to Tacking Point Lighthouse to watch the sunrise.

It was beautiful and serene.

One of my New Year resolutions is to watch a sunrise once a fortnight.

If you look closely you can see a cruise ship crossing the sun

Linking up for Wordless Wednesday My Little Drummer Boys

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Christmas 2014

This year we hit the road and spent Christmas with the in-laws in Port Macquarie. We spent just over a week and a half indulging in beach visits, day naps, wine and laughter.

Christmas day was so relaxing. Cold meats and salad. Lots of Pressies. Lots of Christmas Bon Bons!! Lots and lots of Christmas Bon Bons. Flynn received a wonderful gift from his Aunt and Uncle - a retro tricycle!!

Friday, December 19, 2014

The Seasonal Scoffer

I've made a few decisions about what I put in my body. I'm not referring to inanimate objects, I'm talking food!!!

Over the last few years I've become a bit fat. About 25kgs fatter than I should be. I attribute this to feeling rather sad about miscarrying babies. My response to grief is to shovel food down my throat. Of course I'm not talking kale or carrots, nooooo I wasn't reaching out to scoff dehydrated zucchini chips and grain free granola. I'm talking shitty, sugary, fatty chocolate with a rather large side of salt & vinegar chips!!

I knew it was wrong and was a bit embarrassed about my shoveling, so I often did it in the solitude of my bedroom, when no one else was around.

Things had become pretty fucking ridiculous! Not only did I have to keep buying clothes the next size up, but I couldn't fit them in my cupboard or dresser, because of all the wrappers!! I also kept getting woken by a mouse who was scurrying and rustling, trying to eat the crumbs. Odds are he would've left hungry and disappointed, as I'm sure I would've licked everything clean!

When I cleaned out my dresser drawers, amongst loads of chocolate and chip wrappers, I discovered the evidence of 2 completely devoured boxes of chocolates, complete with last years Xmas wrapping paper. These were meant to be gifts for someone else and it's something I was guilty of every year!!!! If you've ever received a box of chocolates from me, chances are it's the second or third box I've had to purchase because I'd get overcome by temptation and I'd unwrap and eat those chocolates!!

The cupboard and drawers were not the only hiding places for discarded wrappers. I found under the bed a Tupperware container filled with coloured foil. Aaaah Easter 2012!!! - I'd eaten a big bag of Cadbury mini eggs. Can I just say that those mini eggs are bastards and if you are an experienced scoffer you'd understand how painful those mini eggs are to unwrap!! They are no good when you are after a good quick scoff. I guarantee I've eaten just as much foil as chocolate!! Look out if you have fillings in your teeth!!

Did Lord Daa Doo know he married a scoffer? Yes I'm sure he did, but it was unspoken. He would've seen the chocolate around my mouth and heard the rustling as I ran from the pantry to the bedroom with a suspicious looking chip shaped bulge down my pants, or boobs the shape of a family block of Caramello chocolate.
It was unspoken. He was too polite to mention it. Well maybe not polite! He was scared!! Would you confront a crazy screaming woman with chocolate streaked on her face like war paint who is high on sugar, artificial colours AND flavours ??????
He's a smart man!

Anyway, I've made a decision and have said no more!! I've started a journey of eating foods that nurture rather than punish. The good news is, I've lost 8.5 kgs so far and am starting to feel great!

This Xmas, I've promised I will not unwrap and eat the gifts.

Have you ever opened a gift you bought for someone else in order to eat it? Are you a scoffer too?

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

It was only a minute!

I took him to the park. I only took my eyes off him for a moment. It was just one little sneaky glance at my phone, how much trouble could he get in?

It was only a minute, I promise. When I looked up this was the trouble he got in!!

Linking up for Wordless Wednesday with My Little Drummer Boys

Friday, December 5, 2014

Something Undie-scovered

As a result of some high pitched nagging, Lord Daa Doo has grudgingly been doing some maintenance in our back courtyard. He decided to clean under the deck.
He discovered a long lost burial ground.  

He found old rotten leaves from a tree that was removed 3 years ago. He found a stash of long lost dog toys, their squeaks forever silent. He found clothes pegs, that will never clamp clothes in the sunshine again.  

 The most unique find was about to be discovered.....
I was on the lounge, busily and importantly refreshing facebook for the hundredth time when Lord Daa Doo called and asked me to come outside. "Whaaaat is it??" I yelled back, annoyed that I was being disturbed doing important work and would more than likely have to lever myself off the lounge.
I went outside, and squinting in the sunlight,  saw Lord Daa Doo holding a pair of rotten undies on the end of a stick.
"Eugh!! What have you been doing getting your undies off outside?" I accused.
"They're not mine" he replied
"Well they're not frigging mine" I screeched.
We stared silently at the undies for a while. Looked at each other, then looked back at the undies. Looked at each other. Then it clicked.
Our neighbours!! The Serial Hot-Tubbers!!  In a moment of marinating, they must have discarded their underwear, and somehow those filthy undies ended up under our deck!!
It wouldn't be the first time we discovered discarded clothing. I recall a previous Sunday morning after our neighbours had enjoyed a big night of hot tubbing with their friends. I was traumatized when I looked out the kitchen door to find a pair of bathers flung over our fence, crotch side up!!!
As you can see I was so horrified that I had to capture the moment! The photographic evidence clearly shows that these swimmers were dirty, discarded and flung in a moment of hot tub action! 

Now I'm not sure if these were intended to be some sort of lure to entice Lord Daa Doo and I to join them for a night of hottubbing......
 What's the most horrific thing your neighbours have flung over the fence